About Me

I'm not sure what to write here. My book, prayers and poems have already laid my heart bare. It's scary to push publish, but more scary to not share my journey in the hopes of helping others know they are not alone, that we are sisters and brothers, growing together in the light of the love of a wonderful God who guides us. xo

The other day my daughter shared about her grandfather, when seeing him in the casket upon his death, "I knew Grandpa wasn't there," she said. In a split second the magnificent man who was her grandpa was gone. His giant hands folded over his suit on his big chest, and his translucent calm face, that this simply wasn't grandpa. Instead this was just the package that carried him. "Mom we spend so much time thinking about what is really just our package, dressing it, making it lose weight or gain muscle, picking at it when our complexion is poor, fussing over it, and feeling that our package isn't good enough to present our self to the world... When really the package isn't us, it's our light inside, that is the real us. We never need fear about aging, because our package is aging not us! Our package is only to carry us through this life, but God carries us into the next." How profound!  Now I'm learning from Racquel...

Yet in thinking about pushing "publish" I sat by myself and ate an entire medium Hawaiian pizza trying to feel comfort over my fear, stressing over my package. I know what I believe, but the mindset of our culture threatened to consume me as I flip through news articles on my phone in the lamplit darkness. Everywhere the messages are we're not enough, there's someone else better to do the task. I'm staring at old photos from my twenties and realizing I've gained so much in insight over the years, but I've lost so much too. There are things I thought I'd already learned like self-discipline, patience, fortitude, that in this pandemic have gone right out the window. In the mountains of stresses, I feel just like my little son stomping down the hall when asked to clean his room. "God I don't like this mess and I don't feel like cleaning it up. I don't like the pressure I feel. Why don't you clean this up." Never mind that God is lovingly helping me to keep growing. Never mind that as I look back on my path I see beauty and miracles and I should know how to trust by now...

Now my children are strong and well and encouraging me, forging paths of self-discipline, study, structure, and faith, and I feel like the child, struggling again to gain control of my self, my mere wrapping...

So there you have it.

"One day the Eternal God scooped dirt out of the ground, 

sculpted it into the shape we call human, 

breathed the breath that gives life into the nostrils of the human, 

and the human became a living soul." (Genesis 2:7 Voice Bible)

My prayer is this: "God who formed and created the shape we call human, who breathed life into me, who gave me a living soul, help me to respond to you, and to my human family, with kindness, hope, and faith, so together we can heal, hope, and know, we are yours, forever. Amen."

Tomorrow I'm going for a walk, and I'm hiding the pizza box before Erik gets home. ha ha
Till next time. Night.

Deborah Kiezebrink new author of the book “Pandemic Paradise”, with her husband Erik and mom-in-law Erika, own and operate the award-winning Nestleton Waters Inn. They live near Lake Scugog, created by the construction of an 1834 dam which resulted in flooding. They’re also near Port Perry home of Canada’s oldest grain elevator. The Mississauga term “Scugog” means “waves leap over a canoe” and that’s how Deborah feels about life… it’s both exhilarating and dangerous! “I’m on an adventure! But I’m also being flooded and ambushed by waves of challenges and struggles at the same time!” Deborah writes about parenting, faith, news events, health, and through the process of writing finds hope and strength, to be a better wife, mom, business woman, and friend. Deborah is a thankful mom to two kids Sam and Racquel.

PHOTO CREDIT:

Erik and Deborah are wearing garments made by local iconic designer Paula Lishman, named Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year, and the creator of fur yarn, which resulted in “knitted fur”, a new concept now copied around the world. This rural Ontario-based designer lives in a unique underground eco-efficient house designed and built by her artist husband Bill Lishman (also famous for flying with migrating geese in his ultra-light, a story recorded in the film Fly Away Home.) More about Canada's resource based economy. You can watch Paula's virtual tour talking about her art, or read more on Uxbridge Studio Tour.